The key to happiness…we all want it, right? If you’re like most people, you’re trying to find ways to be happy.
“If I lose 15 pounds, then I’ll be happy.”
“Once I meet that perfect person, then I’ll be happy.”
“If I could just find the right job, then I’ll be happy.”
“Once I make more money…” Well, you get the idea.
Sure, these pursuits might make you feel happy at the moment, but they’re often fleeting. There’s always the next thing we need to be happy once and for all.
Think about it. Of all the times you’ve strived for x, y, or z, did it do the trick? Was true happiness & fulfillment yours, to stay? Or, did the next need or want soon fill its place?
You see, no ‘one gives us a handbook on how to be happy. It’s…well, a crapshoot. We’re all just plugging along; trying to achieve, obtain that thing or person, and find our bliss.
What if feeling contentment and joy has less to do about things or achievements, but has everything to do with the relationship you have with YOU? What if self-love is the key to happiness?
How Do You Start This Self-Love Thing?
Self-love starts with connecting with yourself. Ya know, you… your spirit, soul, or whatever you want to call it. That deeper part of you that already approves of you fully, even with those extra 15 pounds, who has perhaps yet to have meet the perfect person, with the job you wish you could leave, and without the salary you’d ideally want.
Self-love is about doing things that scare you, but that are in your best interests, like leaving a toxic relationship. It involves ‘tuning in’ by no longer ‘tuning-out’ through things like too much television, constantly needing to stay busy, overeating, abusing alcohol, and so on...
Self-love is about taking action and doing things that light up your world and soothe your spirit. Find these things… what might some of them be?
Self-love is about believing in yourself. It’s about dropping that self-critical bully that’s taking up residence in your mind, and re-connecting with the amazing and unique YOU that you are. It’s about practicing self-compassion and connecting with the loving self that already lives inside.
Self-love is about being able to say "no" and shifting people-pleasing; allowing authenticity and self-perseveration to be the guide.
The Bully Inside Your Mind
Take a moment and consider how you treat yourself. Are you compassionate and gentle toward yourself, or do you put a ton of pressure on yourself and critical of the things you should be doing better? Start paying attention to the thoughts you say to yourself. You don't have to change anything, for now. Just become curiously aware.
Awareness is a first, and most important, step and its own tool in shifting to self-love. When we become curious about our self-talk and non-judgmental toward what we find, self-love begins.
Because you deserve to be loved, by you. This self-love thing takes practice and investment, but it’s worth it, because it truly is your key to happiness.
If you're finding Self-Love challenging and are ready to find lasting happiness, I invite you to schedule an appointment to see me in my Los Angeles office by clicking on the "Schedule an Appointment" link below. Let's tackle this Self-Love thing together, once and for all.
Jennifer Huggins, Psy.D is a licensed Clinical Psychologist in West Los Angeles, specializing in Trauma and Chronic Pain. In addition to these specializations, she helps her clients heal depression, anxiety, and reduce stress though the use of cutting-edge treatments and empowering them to thrive in their lives. Her passion is helping clients find hope when its been lost.
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